TEST DRIVE MEME

[eternitymods]

A. RETRIEVAL Dreams fade slowly, and awareness returns in increments. The hum of machinery, the smell of recycled air, the murmurs of others waking up around you. The interior of the ship has been outfitted with cots for those Biggs and Wedge retrieve from the Dream Width. Outside of the makeshift infirmary, windows set into the walls of the worn lounge area offer a view of space. It’s time to meet your fellow new arrivals who have been brought together on Biggs and Wedge’s airship. None of you know how you came to be here or where you are going, and the door to the cockpit is locked as the pilots focus on navigating the treacherous obstacles of the Dream Width. You might as well take this moment to introduce yourself to your fellow travelers. B. CURTI CENTER There’s an almost overwhelming aura of excitement in the tower as researchers rush to document this unprecedented number of interdimensional travelers. Over the commotion, the leaders of the Center struggle to explain, ‘Welcome to Vaikuntha. We don’t know why you’ve been brought here, but this is your new home.’ The staff will do their best to help the off-worlders settle in. They answer the questions they can, provide maps and pamphlets about the world and the destinations within it, and even guide the arrivals to a neighborhood where housing has been provided for you. Yes, due to the strange influx of arrivals, you’ll be expected to share, but the Curti staff are doing the best they can under the circumstances. Experiences like these bring people together. Perhaps you are the only one here from your world, but at least you are not alone in this experience. Others are right beside you, learning the same information, planning trips to visit the same new cities, checking out these Job things, and settling in to their new (temporary) homes. C. UP IN THE SKY There’s a whole new world to explore. It’s almost enough to distract from the fact that there’s one place you can’t go- home. You are on an Airship, the main mode of transportation between the major cities of Vaikuntha. While the majority are owned by airlines, perhaps you hitched a ride with a friend that has their own. You can go anywhere in a matter of hours — One can only hope you don’t have motion sickness. D. GUILDS Proud representatives of the Guild are lined up, ready to demonstrate their skills for the new initiates. Make sure to stay behind the designated line, this might get dangerous. So you want a new Job? You'll have to first travel to the Guilds, sign the papers, go through the orientation and introductory lectures, and get basic training. Afterwards, you can freely chat and practice with your fellow members, celebrating your new powers, and checking out your new wardrobe. E. LET'S BE ADVENTURERS Separated from all of your material possessions, connections, and everything you know, and really, what you’re left with is time. Better try to make the most of it. Enough expository banter. It's explorin' time. Maybe instead of spending every day in your room, you'd rather spend it living it up in the city of Lavode, or betting on Chocobo Races in Sparks Goldsaucia. Or maybe you'd rather go and explore the caves and ruins near Arito. With Airships and Chocobos at your disposal, you can go nearly anywhere! F. SIDEQUESTS Maybe you’re telling yourself, ‘I didn’t sign up for this.’ But wait, you did. At least it pays. It all started when you checked the Quest Board.  All you wanted was a few gil to spend, and here you are in the wild, hunting for a Malboro Vine. Or maybe you are in some ancient and decrepit ruins looking for an artifact. Or you could be asked to be janitor for a week. Consider yourself lucky though, at least you don't have to do that alone. G. GET A JOB (THE OTHER KIND) You’ve got a Job, but Claire keeps sighing and muttering about layabout space-people not earning their keep, so it might be time to seek out Employment as well. There are plenty of opportunities to earn some gil in Vaikuntha, no matter where you choose to settle down. Your iMog slate includes listing for employment opportunities. Hopefully you can find something you can live with so that you can start saving up for an airship or the security payment for your permanent housing. H. MOGNET *Ding!* You’ve got Mog-Mail! Thankfully, you can instantaneously chat with your friends around the world thanks to you iMog Slate. And unlike old-fashioned Moogle Letters, you can even send messages to everyone in a blink of an eye! However, despite the change in technology, the old tradition of Mognet Strikes have never gone away. Nobody knows any more whether the Moogles have legitimate reasons to go on strike or if they are just lazy. But today, Mognet is down, and to get information you have no choice but going to the public boards or risk message corruption and mishandling. I. RANDOM ENCOUNTER The ground trembles, and out of nowhere, something hostile appears! Is that battle music playing? You were minding your own business walking around, and suddenly monsters attacked you! Time to put to use the skills you've learned with your Jobs! Will you try to fight on your own or seek help? And remember, you die in random battle, you die FOR REAL. There’s no shame from running from enemies that are a higher level than you! J. WILD CARD Feeling inspired to create your own prompt? The power is yours!

Comments

[twomeals]

Hey, I could do it if I tried!

[He tries lifting a foot again, for like, half a second. He's holding back a laugh as he does it, though the smile turns a little awkward at the fire talk.]

Mm, melting faces sounds kind of gross... [Aaand perking up again!] Do black mages exist where you come from? If I set things on fire, and you carve them up, it's kind of like we're cooking, huh?

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk fails to hold back a laugh at the attempt, and he doesn't even feel bad- the conversation is ridiculous. That question about cooking, though... ]

I guess, but it's not good cooking. With a fish, you tend to take the bones out. With livestock, you split it into different parts like the legs or the breast. Imagine finding bits of broken bone in your monster filet!

[ He laughs again, very gregariously, at least until that experience plants itself firmly in his mind, and he shudders. ]

Gross. Plus, the biggest blasphemy is that there'd be no spices, like what's the point?

[twomeals]

You could do all that with your knife though, right? Splitting, and stuff.

[Plus as a man-eating bird monster he's not exactly picky about his steaks. Yue looks more curious than grossed out by the breadman's comments, head tilting in a questioning sort of manner.]

Are spices that important? They'd probably still taste good without that, I think...

1/2 because he's dead now

[chefbayardee]

Are you insane?!

[ He lets out a shrill gasp of cosmic affront, and immediately starts dragging his hands down his face. With every word, his tone goes further from deep-voiced anguish to wailing despair. ]

That's like a salad without dressing, a soup without stock, a pizza without toppings!

[ Hunk lets out a groan, and collapses into his arms like a student sleeping at their desk. ]

2/3 because i lied

[chefbayardee]

[ But before more than a moment passes, Hunk is already glaring back at the bird, and his tone is serious. ]

Don't you touch that bread, we need to get you a culinary revelation, stat!

[ He snatches up his knife, slides it confidently back into the sheath, and stands up, one hand at his hip like he's a superhero! ]

Is there anything you can't or won't eat? Because I need to fix your sense of taste right now-

3/3 thank you for dealing with this wild ride

[chefbayardee]

[ But all the wind leaves his sails in an instant. He looks down at the bird, at the bread, and just lets out a sheepish, self-deprecating "eheeheeeheee" sort of chuckle, because... ]

I'm so sorry, I didn't actually catch your name, did I? I'm Hunk.

[ And now he's extending a hand for a handshake. Clawshake? Does the birdman even know what a handshake is??? ]

truly a gourmand....

[twomeals]

[Wow, this guy is...really serious about his food. Yue actually jumps at the sudden yell, feathers all fluffing up from the--whatever this is. Surprise!

Surprise, followed by confusion and maybe a little worry, followed yet again by his perking up at the offer of cooking and a slow settling of his feathers. However serious this guy may be on the subject, all Yue gets out of it is the idea that he might be a good source of free snacks in the future. The kid's an opportunist at heart.

There's a pause before he catches on, placing a claw in Hunk's hand. Didn't quite catch the 'shake' part, apparently?]

I'm Yue. "Hunk" is kind of a funny name, huh? Ah, not in a bad way! [He raises his doll hand in a--well he can't actually do anything with it occupied, so it's kind of a useless movement, but.] I don't think there's anything I can't eat, so...anything you want is fine!

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk, used to handshakes with humans and aliens alike, just kind of passively shakes the claw as soon as contact is made. He has no idea he is doing this. ]

Anything? Okay, hm...

[ He shrugs off the "funny" comment because he knows he's heard weirder names, but the wheels start turning. ]

I don't have a big set of supplies here with me and I wanna do this right, so if you're willing to wait a day or so, I can give you a full-course dinner! But in the meantime...

[ He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a box of... something. He opens it and smirks. ]

How do you feel about cookies?

[twomeals]

[Shake shake shake! This is fine. Yue looks kind of curious at the mention of a full-course dinner, actually--what's a full course, he wants to ask? Are there lots of courses? Is a course something edible?

He gets as far as opening his mouth, maybe even managing a] Full-? [before

...a box of rainbow magic has appeared! He gaaaaasps at the colors, eyes wide with childlike fascination, reaching a hand tentatively towards the box but not actually grabbing anything yet.]

Are these really cookies? They're so pretty!

[chefbayardee]

Yue, I just promised you a giant meal, why would I lie to you about cookies?

[ He laughs, giving the box a little shake so that the contents, these real confections, make audible noises before putting it down on the table. ]

Have you... never seen this sort of thing before?

[ He doesn't want to spoil the illusion and say "it's just some food coloring" but he's not sure if he'd feel bad lying about it. ]

[twomeals]

[Ah, Hunk is laughing...he smiles awkwardly, hesitating a bit before reaching for one of those cookies.]

I've seen different-colored food before...but mostly it was frosting, I think? And I've never seen a cookie that was so many different colors...

[Biting down--gosh he loves cookies. Birds like grains, kids like sweets, it's like the perfect combo. He's got manners though! Taking small bites to make the one cookie last longer.]

[chefbayardee]

Yue. Dude.

[ Hunk stares him square in the eyes, with a stern face... that then immediately breaks into a grin. ]

You don't have to be so cautious, go to town! I can always make more.

[ A lightbulb goes off in Hunk's mind, and his eyes light up in response. ]

Or... you could even help make another batch sometime! I could always use a hand! Or, well, another claw. Or are they talons? I don't know birds.

[twomeals]

[Yue blinks, stares--returns that grin with a wide smile of his own.

That smile widens even more at the cooking invitation; he gulps down the rest of his cookie before answering, because that's important, but--]

Mm, can I? I'd like that a lot! I don't know if they're claws or hands or talons but I'll do my best to help with them! Hehe.

[Being a bird doesn't mean you have to actually understand bird terminology! Just ask your local pigeons.]

[chefbayardee]

Pfffft. It'll be fine!

[ Hunk rolled his eyes. He's trained from Iron all the way to Interdimensional Meteorite Chef, he can handle cooking with a bird. ]

I mean, you never know, those things might be great for whisking cookie dough. And even if they aren't...

[ He laughs at the pun he hasn't even made yet. ]

Fast food isn't an experience worth the effort. We can take our time, have fun with it!

[twomeals]

[Is this guy actually giving him permission to stick his claws directly into the cookie dough. The ultimate taboo! That thing nobody ever lets him do! Hunk is his favorite guy in this world now, it's decided.

Also he doesn't get the unsaid pun, but he laughs along anyway as he reaches for another cookie.]

Fast food...like sandwiches?

[chefbayardee]

I mean burgers are sandwiches, yeah. [ Hunk starts sizing Yue's arms up, especially those feathers, they might get in the way. He'd definitely need to get his hands on a hairnet, and maybe wingnets too... even if they'd just be normal nets at that point. ]

Wait, can you even eat sandwiches, or do your claws just kinda... slice 'em up?

[twomeals]

Eh? [Yue blinks, tilting his head curiously. Though actually he looks more confused than curious, at getting sized up...]

Why wouldn't I be able to eat sandwiches? I mean, if I tried to slice them with my claws that'd be pretty messy, right?

[chefbayardee]

No no, I mean... [ He shapes his hand into a facsimile claw, essentially a rigid version of that Star Trek hand sign. ]

How can you... [ He starts grabbing at the bread. Not the chopped off pieces, the entire loaf, trying to pick it up and bend it and manipulate it... but he just squishes parts of it. He's not exactly a man of elegance. ]

How can you hold things with such big pointy claws? I don't know how you do this...

[twomeals]

You mean like this?

[Attempting to mimic that claw...is unsurprisingly easy, considering he actually has claws, but that is in fact what he's doing. It's a claw! Holding a cookie without smashing it! His fingers are more bendy than his toes, it looks like.]

Mm, I guess it might've been kind of hard when I first started...but I've had claws for a long time, so you could say I'm used to them?

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk is still quite enraptured. The claws have such dexterity despite... ending in sharp points. Really sharp. And not having a ton of joints. ]

Well, yeah, I'm sure when I was a baby I couldn't grab anything with my hands, and look at me now!

[ He snatches a cookie from the box with precision and grace, and takes a huge bite out of it. Hunk looks very pleased with himself for doing this. ]

[twomeals]

[Yeah that's right, he was totally born like this. A bird from birth. Definitely.

I mean, it's true he couldn't do much back in the day either, so Hunk isn't wrong, technically....more importantly that really pleased look is kinda hilarious. There's a short pause where Yue just stares at him, before breaking into a little laugh.]

You're an expert! The best at having hands! [He'd clap but that's one thing these claws can't really do.]

[chefbayardee]

The best? I wouldn't go that far... [ He recoils a bit, though he's definitely still laughing. ] But these hands are good with machines too, so they're pretty great!

[ Hunk pauses for a moment, contemplative, before- ] But you know what, I think monkeys are the best at hands. They have hands on their feet, and I just don't think I can beat that.

[twomeals]

[Sshh it was a joke! Not that Yue's saying that out loud. He gets a curious look though, at the handfoot mention.]

...What's a monkey?

[chefbayardee]

[ Hunk's chuckling comes to a sudden halt, mid-laugh even, as Yue asks his question. The halt continues, far longer than Hunk's comedic timing would normally allow- that's how it's clear this gets to him. ]

They're like small, hairy people with tails, and they climb in trees, and apparently some people have eaten their brains, but- [ He does a double take, the bafflement still setting in. ] You seriously don't know what a monkey is?

[twomeals]

[...Why'd the guy freeze up....was the question that strange.....Yue looks increasingly awkward with every second of silence, like maybe he said something wrong?

The description he gets is also pretty weird, he's gotta say.] Um, I've seen bear people, and dog people, and cat people, but. I don't think I've seen one that said they were a monkey, before. [Pause.] Why would you eat their brains?